lu_isa

It was a particularly beautiful day. The unnatural June rain had gone, and blurry traces of airplanes alone crossed the blue sky it had left behind. Only badly applied asphalt stopped the bumpy path from completely falling under the classic concept of country road, and yet, inside the bus, head laying on his chest, she barely registered the general discomfort. Lost in her undefined thoughts as she was, only his stroking of her long, straight hair and the gorgeous mountain landscape outside the window made a sensorial impression in her mind.

And then a soft whisper shattered the silence.

"What?," she asked abruptly, raising her head to face him. Not that she didn't have any idea concerning what his words might have been; she did, and they both scared and aroused her; she needed to make sure, to absorb their effect to the extreme of its power.

"Nevermind, it was nothing."

She was looking him in the eyes, a piercing violation he attempted to avoid, albeit in vain.

"Come on, now; that's just not fair." The tone was impatient and reproachful, but the gentle, sensual kisses her lips mindlessly spread along his neck quickly gave the act away. She was well aware of her effect on him, and playing with it was one of her guilty pleasures.

"What... what isn't?" She could feel his speech slow down and his tone lower back to a whisper as she knowingly caressed his torso and turned the kissing into a soft sucking of the skin.

"To keep everything for yourself. Especially matters that concern me..." Now she was downright teasing him, giving little playful bites as she slowly brushed her lips against the side of his neck.

With a quiet moan of pleasure, he gently pulled her in front of him, their gazes meeting once again. It didn't just blurt out, though; he took his sweet time to inspect her face for the millionth time before any words came out of his mouth.

"I'm in love with you," he finally said, softly but steadily. "Madly. Madly in love with you."

At last, the phrase she'd known all along. A smile of calm satisfaction took over her whole countenance. And she was sure he hadn't added the last part the first time around, too -- well, why should it matter? Without another word, she gave up her sweet fight and once again laid her head on his chest, eyes closed. All was well.

91 words

Hmm. That's funny, since I only use my index fingers when typing, and sometimes my left thumb. Well, I am a touch typer and all, so I suppose it's not completely surprising that I'm fast. 91 is the highest I got, but the lowest was in the 80-something layer, and that's not a very significant difference. Oh well, I suppose if Medicine ends up not working out for me, I might as well apply for a secretary job.

Or, err, maybe not. Just kidding, obviously. But the truth is, my midterms are next week, and I'm not prepared in the slightest. And yes, I mean it. So, is this serious? Well, yeah; in fact, it is. But it's too late to do anything about it now, so my already low motivation is decreasing fast.

I want to marry Seth Cohen. Does anyone else want to marry Seth Cohen? Well, not marry, since I'm not the marrying kind of gal, but fucking, I suppose. I want to fuck Seth Cohen. And yes, I do mean Seth Cohen, the character, in all of his geeky glory. Although considering the impossibility of this wish coming true, I wouldn't mind going for Adam Brody, the actor, instead. Then again, Adam is a lot like Seth in some ways (they do look the same...), so it wouldn't be that bad an option, huh?

By the way, what were they thinking, Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson, breaking up? Not that a give a shit about celebrities' personal lives, but if I can't have him, he might as well stay with Rachel. Bah, I'm just kidding here, obviously, but I do miss Seth and Summer. I got a little upset about The O.C. ending back in 2007; I really do miss Seth, and his couple chemistry with Summer overall. Seriously, they had such intense scenes... you know, like when Seth was drawing her for their comic in her room in Season 2 while she was still dating Zach, and things got really charged? That was, like, the closest a teen drama can get to having a truly artful erotic moment. And a chemistry like Adam and Rachel's, well, you don't come across that everyday.

See, I'm rambling. That's what happens when I'm under pressure, but still looking for excuses not to be doing what I'm supposed to. I'm like a trapped animal. It's pathetic.

Hmm.

...

That vodka bottle in my nightstand drawer is looking increasingly interesting.

Chase: We take drugs to help us fall asleep, stay awake--
Cameron: We don't make careers out of who can stay awake the longest!
Chase: Really? Ever been to, oh, I don't know, med school?

~ House M.D., 2.06: Spin

Garden State (2004)
Directed & Written by Zach Braff
Starring Zach Braff, Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard

Fully written and directed by its starring actor, Zach Braff, this film tells the story of Andrew Largeman (Braff), a young man that has been on prescribed medication for emotional control ever since an incident involving his mother at the age of nine convinced his father, a psychiatrist, that a combination of drugs and, later, attending a boarding school would be best for him. After many years of detachment and now in his mid-twenties, he briefly returns to his hometown in New Jersey for his mother's funeral; during his stay, he reunites with old friends whose personal and professional lives have taken curious turns and meets Samantha, a lively, heart-on-the-sleeve girl who is everything he is not.

Garden State is about life and living; it portrays Andrew's journey from almost two decades of absolute drug-induced numbness to learning how to feel again: how to laugh, how to cry, how to scream, how to care. In this sense, it is a hymn to life, showing us how, whether good or bad, it is everything we've got, and how human beings must learn to accept that and make the best out of it.

However, despite having a wonderful base concept, this film has some flaws that ultimately make it a lot less remarkable than it promises to be in its early parts, its one major letdown being, of course, its old-fashioned, unrealistic ending: having been meds-free for only about four days, it makes no sense for Andrew's progression as a character to decidedly shackle himself to a girl whom he had known for an even shorter amount of time. For the down-to-earth viewer looking for some realistic dissection of the human mind and nature, Andrew's happy ending with Sam is not romantic: on the contrary, seeing our protagonist jump from one prison (his medication) to another (a love interest) without allowing himself the time to readjust to life on his own two feet, as well as get his newly-found feelings in order, is simply downright disappointing. This “lovey-dovey”, naïve ending feels displaced in a supposedly "alternative" film, and ruins whatever "lesson" you might have extracted from the previous 90-something minutes.

Unrealism, however, is not Garden State's only downside: the film is also somewhat diffuse in its essence, sometimes appearing to lose itself (and, consequently, the viewers) and forgetting what it is that it is trying to convey at a given moment; in short, you are likely to often find yourself wondering exactly what point they are attempting to make -- and, sadly, rarely getting a satisfactory answer, because thought-provoking subjects are often taken on and almost immediately put aside without any sort of closure. On a different note, it must be noted that our protagonist is not directly to blame for most of the things going wrong in his life; his circumstances have begun to mold themselves (or rather, impose themselves on him) when he was merely a child, and therefore were always somewhat beyond his control. This, in a way, excludes the need for personal, inner redemption right from the start, consequently weakening his character and/or his chance for emotional progress, an important factor to any protagonist that is further neglected in the already mentioned fluffy ending.

Still, many good points are undeniable; the film is well-directed and well-acted, with Natalie Portman's Sam coming off convincingly annoying in an overly cute way, and the soundtrack is simply superb: Braff has managed to bring many obscure, alternative (and, may I say, awesome) artists and bands together (Zero 7, The Shins, Frou Frou, Remy Zero, the amazing Coldplay and Cary Brothers,...), and the result is awe-deserving. In fact, were it not for its seldom derailing and its truly mischosen and unoriginal ending, Garden State could be a 10/10 film: after all, it does explore the great and never overused premise of life and learning to feel it in all of its forms.

TORANJA
Quebramos Os Dois

Era eu a convencer-te que gostas de mim,
Tu a convenceres-te que não é bem assim
Era eu a mostrar-te o meu lado mais puro,
Tu a argumentares os teus inevitáveis

Eras tu a dançares em pleno dia,
E eu encostado como quem não vê
Eras tu a falar para esconder a saudade,
E eu a esconder-me do que não se dizia

Afinal quebrámos os dois,
Afinal quebrámos os dois...

Desviando os olhos por sentir a verdade
Juravas a certeza da mentira
Mas sem queimar demais
Sem querer extinguir o que já se sabia

Eu fugia do toque como do cheiro
Por saber que era o fim da roupa vestida
Que inventara no meio do escuro onde estava
Por ver o desespero na cor que trazias...

Afinal quebrámos os dois,
Afinal quebrámos os dois,
Afinal quebrámos os dois...

Era eu a despir-te do que era pequeno
E tu a puxares-me para um lado mais perto
Onde se contam histórias que nos atam
Ao silêncio dos lábios que nos mata

Eras tu a ficar por não saberes partir,
E eu a rezar para que desaparecesses
Era eu a rezar para que ficasses,
E tu a ficares enquanto saías
Não nos tocámos enquanto saías,
Não nos tocámos enquanto saímos,
Não nos tocamos e vamos fugindo
Porque quebramos como crianças
Afinal...

...Quebrámos os dois,
Afinal quebrámos os dois,
Afinal quebrámos os dois...

E é quase pecado o que se deixa,
Quase pecado o que se ignora...

A couple of things that, I think, should be considered when adapting Jane Eyre to the screen:

1) Mr. Rochester can not be handsome.
Come on, people, this one is obvious enough; yet, it's a rarely respected guideline -- how hard can it be not to cast a hunk!?... Let's get this straight: Jane and Rochester are not beautiful people. Jane is plain, while Rochester is rough, and neither is handsome. This is one of the reasons that make this novel so unique, and this couple so fascinating. I do think it's okay for Rochester to be attractive, but not in a pretty way. He must be manly, tough, with a piercing gaze, and his attractiveness, if any, should be of the aggressive kind (and mind you, I do defend the existence of such strange, bittersweet appeal in his appearance).

2) Jane is not pretty, either.
Let me remind you that Jane is usually described as having a plain, small appearance with strange features: exotic, yes, but never handsome. I actually believe it is more important to keep Rochester appropriately "ugly" than it is to keep Jane plain, but that doesn't mean we want some gorgeous chick playing her, either (Ellen Page, what the fuck?...).

3) Blanche Ingram is not supposed to be a blonde.
Does anyone who has actually read Jane Eyre picture the haughty Miss Ingram with light hair? Chapter 17; Jane's description of Blanche: "[...] the dark eyes, the black ringlets were all there [...]"; Rochester's comparison of Bertha with Blanche: "[...] tall, dark and majestic [...]". Furthermore, Blanche was the epitome of beauty in the county, and back in the time, this was usually associated with dark hair. The point is, Blanche Ingram as a blonde is just not right.

4) The gypsy woman scene in Chapter 19 should be kept as it is.
Seriously, how hilarious is it that Rochester disguises himself as a gypsy sibyl just to find out whether Jane loves him? Why would you want to change that? I believe this scene should always be kept in for good measure, not just for being fun as hell, but also because it's sweet in a very weird way. However, from what I've read, it is almost never shown in TV/film adaptations, and when it is, it is altered, which is really too bad. What's your problem, people!? I can understand why it would be cut out if time was to be spared, but leaving it in modified? That takes up exactly the same amount of time, and just ruins the whole point. Don't do that.

5) Some secondary casting notes.
Georgiana is a blonde; Eliza is dark-haired; St. John is gorgeous in a Grecian way, which basically means pale and serious; Diana should be the prominent sister -- in every way -- between herself and Mary; Bertha is not beautiful anymore!!!

With that said, the version I watched yesterday, the 2006 BBC four-episode miniseries, is actually quite good: Rochester and Jane are absolutely fantastic, especially the former (although the height difference should be bigger): I found myself wanting him very badly. Indeed, Toby Stephens's portrayal of Rochester is quite amazing; the appearance, the gestures, the sarcastic tone are all exactly as I'd imagined them; Ruth Wilson made a good Jane, too, with her strange features, analyzing gaze and well-established, if quiet, personality.

Sadly, however, Blanche was a blonde (and a very blonde blonde at that), Georgiana was dark-haired and quite unattractive (err...) and the gypsy woman scene was altered, having Rochester pay an actual woman to play the sibyl part while he hid listening behind a curtain nearby. The ending was a bit too lovey-dovey, too, and never showed Rochester partially recovering from his blindness; some important scenes were cut out and others were modified, but well, I suppose that's the price to pay in adaptations. Still, this one offers a nice balance between faithfulness to the original and well-conducted feeling, so I do recommend it to anyone who has read Jane Eyre: if not for anything else, at least to drool over Rochester.

At last, it won me over -- not without a fight, for sure; yet, steadily and slowly, Jane Eyre has indeed conquered me -- to the point of shaking my emotions in its very final chapters. I will not deny that I had drawn for it higher expectations than it could ever meet, but having adjusted to the idea that it would sometimes -- regardless of my will -- be unlikely, unrealistic and overly descriptive, I managed to find some solace in this modern soap opera in the shape of a 19th century novel.

To me, and under the light of my personal inclinations and tastes, Jane Eyre's faults reside, precisely, in its exaggerated, unlikely coincidences; in its (few, but still) displays of superstition and religion -- two lame guides to reign over a soul as strong and steady as our admirable Jane's otherwise seems and proves to be. Its best qualities? Well... how many of us can honestly claim to never have melted under the spell of requited romance? How many are qualified to say they never have experienced the pleasure of seeing their cherished couple reunited, after so many trials and such overwhelming despair? Indeed, Jane Eyre may be a chick flick in too many senses for its own good, but it is also a very good one at that. While somewhat repetitive in what concerns description, it can hardly be dubbed boring -- its pace is fast and never slackens. And, surely, at least one sincere bow is due to Charlotte's hand for having drawn so composed and worthy a woman -- fictional, yes, but an inspiration nonetheless -- in an era where justice to the fairier sex was not yet thought of.

While most background characters are quite shaded, unimpressive and easily forgotten, Jane and her Mr. Edward Fairfax Rochester are as good as flesh and bone, and highly appealing individuals in every way -- it begins with their natural, individual ugliness, a rare and endearing trait in fiction, and ends in their unique connection and consequently fascinating dialogues, which are a genuine, exotic delight to any eager reader's mind. This quality is as stainless in this novel as it can be, and, in itself, more than makes the ride worth it. We can't help but wonder what sort of inner force, how relentless a strength of personality must possess Jane, a young woman in so rigid and unfair a society as ruled over civilization in her time, to act and speak towards men the way she does -- oh yes, the publishing day for Jane Eyre was a new, refreshing dawn for women all over the world, and we must respect its meaning, today as much as ever.

On a totally different note, I also managed to -- finally! -- beat the crap out of Final Fantasy IX a couple of days ago. It was not, at all, the difficulty that hindered me, but a long-harbored dislike towards the game's base plot (a return to a medieval background, of which I'm not naturally fond) and very design (deformity annoys me). Strangely enough, I found, this time around, that not only was I able to enjoy the gameplay -- Chocobo Hot & Cold is heaven! -- in itself, an attachment (and not a weak one) to a few characters was also possible. Zidane has won my heart; his flirty, easy-going personality and sense of humor are irresistible in my eyes, to the point of allowing me to forgive those God forsaken monkey tail and general clothing. Quina is as idiotic and lame as a bunch of pixels can possibly get, and that renders her (allow me to call her a she, will you?) both adorable and hilarious -- hence, where I expected disgust I rather found in myself plenty of maniacal laughter in her presence. There is also a general feeling of delicacy and sensitivity about Garnet that, because sincere, and added to her undeniable beauty, makes her an appealing character as well. I don't care much for the rest of the cast -- except, maybe, for Eiko, who is fun and quick-minded, although not very realistically so, considering her age: and that, to a certain extent, ruins it for me.

As for the game's storyline... well, there's not much meaning to draw from it, is there? In a way, many things seem to have been rushed during production, especially in the department regarding opponents and enmity: Kuja isn't really that bad, and neither is Garland, and then Necron jumps out of nowhere five seconds before the end and takes the form of ultimate boss: yet, he isn't even a true entity, let alone a conscious being. So, who is to blame? This is a question that arises from both good and bad storylines: from the good, because they expose the duality of Man and urge you to think over your notions of morality and Good/Evil; from the bad, because the whole plot is a mess from the start and no one's actions seem well justified, explained or called for. Sadly, I feel that Final Fantasy IX's must be of the latter kind: for while it has some very good ground concepts in it, it explores them neglectingly and fails to borrow any true advantage from them, making them sound no better or less confusing than pure nonsense in the end. But, oh well! I am usually one to advocate that while some empty, merely recreational video games are bound to exist, they ought not to belong to the Final Fantasy series: still, let us believe there is nothing wrong in the experience of a sillier FF, and IX will still offer many delights; if of other -- hollower -- sort, at least constant.

And with that, I am done having opinions reflecting for tonight.

Well, it certainly seems I've taken my sweet time since my last post.

Almost two months. Wow. It's not that I haven't had anything to write about (God knows otherwise, or, well, I do. I find being an atheist makes the usage of certain everyday expressions extremely difficult. Of course I go "Oh my God!" and "God knows [...]" all the time as well, who doesn't!? What alternative do I have, "Oh my Nonexistent Entity"? That just sounds wrong. But then how can you tell whether one's a believer or not? ...Stop right there. Overthinking. Oh my God, long parenthesis!!!), but, well... yeah. Sometimes you just can't find the strength (or whatever it is that it takes) to sit and think of something to say, or a way to say it. But! Here I am now, indeed. And I come to bear thee news.

Or, well, not really. If I were to just let it all out, I could probably ramble on for hours, but let's just not. Lately I've bought myself a huge ass amount of DVD's (alphabetical order): About Schmidt, Atonement, The Constant Gardener, Edward Scissorhands, The English Patient, Finding Neverland, Kate & Leopold, Pride & Prejudice (2005), Proof, Shakespeare in Love and Sliding Doors. Yay for Gwyneth Paltrow overdose! Some of those I had already seen, of course, but Shakespeare in Love was among the seven that I had not (yes, really), and I will admit I was very surprised, because I had no idea it was supposed to be a comedy (for some reason, I expected drama), so the film made its way into and through my mind free of preconceptions or concrete expectations, which is always a good thing (and a rare one, in my case, since I usually look up information on films before I watch them). Joseph Fiennes is quite attractive, I don't think I'd ever seen him before: certainly different from his older brother Ralph -- whose eyes are more on the tragic side, contrary to Joseph's youthful, lively own --, but definitely not any less hot. He reminds me of someone I used to be involved with, and that somehow made everything a lot more "personal" to me. It was a very sweet movie, light and entertaining as comedies should be, and it left a stronger impression on me than I expected, even as I finished watching it. The human mind is one strange thing. I wonder what kind of unconscious mechanisms explain one's particular affinity to certain things -- books, movies, actors/actresses, songs, etc. -- regardless of whether one recognizes actual quality in them or not. I suppose it's just enormously personal; depending on your experiences, sensations and feelings, you may develop a stronger connection to the object in question than other people, even if you recognize it's not the best thing ever (for instance, Nicole Kidman is one of my top favorite actresses, even though, in my opinion, she is not one of the top best actresses out there). Do not get me wrong, though: Shakespeare in Love is a good film, and I speak as objectively as I can; perhaps the stronger impression it left on me has got to do with Joseph Fiennes reminding me of that certain somebody, or my own inner emotional context at the moment I watched it. Either way, Colin Firth is always wonderful to look at, so that's a given bonus! <3

Still speaking of movies, I went and saw Hancock the other day. Nothing extraordinary, but it made me laugh (pretty hard on some occasions!), so it did its job, and it did it well -- it's not like anyone watches a silly comedy for its plot and actual content, anyway. Besides, it's got *Will Smith* in it. Naked. You can't go wrong with Will Smith, and you definitely can't go wrong with Will Smith naked.

Exam season is practically over; Immunology and Systematic Anatomy I are done, and I'm waiting for the Psychology II and Physiology results to come out, although I expect to pass on both as well. My last remaining exam (Biochemistry) is on Friday, and studying for it is what I ought to be doing. =D God, I can't wait for this week to be over. (See??? "God" again. It's not my fault. I swear.) I really think I've reached saturation level; my ability to concentrate is, well, dead. Summer! I want summer and my InterRail trip! =( Oh, that reminds me, I haven't mentioned my upcoming vacation yet! *Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.* Yes, come August 4th, I'm going on an InterRail (train travel throughout Europe) with two of my best university friends (Rita and Alice, plus Rita's friend Mariana), and won't be back until the end of the month. We'll be visiting Belgium, Holland (OMG AMSTERDAM!!!1111), Germany, Austria, Hungary (Budapest <3), the Czech Republic (Prague! Milan Kundera's Prague! Tomas and Tereza's^[1] Prague!!!), the Swiss Alps, and maybe southern France and Ljubljana (in Slovenia), if we've got time. I wouldn't go as far as getting any EuroTrip ideas, but if you must, go for it. I'm so excited! I'll try and update on the subject before I leave, but I can't promise anything.

On a different note, I also went and got myself Coldplay's new Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends album and My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade Is Dead! live CD + DVD (it came with this lovely emo band t-shirt! <3). Nothing new about the latter -- it's just the album songs recorded/played live, obviously  --, but Coldplay's album is a lovely little thing. I still haven't had the time to judge correctly, but 42 and Lost! are really nice songs. Violet Hill is good too, although in no way remarkable. Overall, so far, I don't think this album is as good as, say, Parachutes (then again, what will ever be?), but you can't go wrong with Coldplay. It's like Will Smith naked.

^[1] Reference to Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being. Tomas and Tereza are the novel's protagonists.

Self-explanatory title.

I think it's mainly because I've got so much on my mind, and feel so bad about so many things in my life (now if I use the word "so" one more time in this sentence, you may shoot me). I won't go into much detail, but let's just say that everything feels so... unstable right now, like I'm going through a transitory phase on pretty much every level (friendships, university, health, love life,...). It's annoying, uncalled for and untimely, and I hate it. Why can't I make up my mind about, well, anything? Why can't I just get up and take action, rather than stay still and burn my brain to death?

One thing's for sure, Anatomy isn't helping much, either. I just finished looking over several thoracic muscles as well as the infamous diaphragm, and, already, I'm so tired -- guess my lack of studying habits has something to do with that. To hell with esophageal hiatus, aortic hiatus, right and left crus of diaphragm, lateral and medial arcuate ligaments and all of the other 937456325215 anatomical terms related to the subject -- they might as well go and die. Thank you, Gray, Netter and Moore, but enough is enough, and I've got a short attention span for these issues.

(Don't get me wrong, actually knowing this stuff is extremely rewarding; I just can't focus for too long, that's all.)

I am reading Jane Eyre, as promised. I am currently at page 172 (out of 439), which is not bad (over one third, actually); sadly, I am now forced to take a break due to studying as well as attending parties and concerts for the weekend, but I will try and make some time for it every now and then, since I don't want to lose track of the plot. So far, I am not disappointed, although I do not find it half as great as Charlotte's sister Emily's Wuthering Heights: it couldn't be so, I suppose, since it is a conventional love story with a happy ending. It's a great one at that, though: I won't deny it, I look forward to the moment when Jane and Mr. Rochester will finally, well, consummate all that sexual tension. <3

God, I should be sleeping.

PS: Revamp at Rette-Mich.NET coming soon! =DD

After reading Kafka's The Trial in only a little over 24 hours, my hyperactive brain is tempted and forced to look for deeper meanings in even the simplest description, and perhaps this is the reason The Old Man and the Sea left me so disappointed. I'm not sure what I expected; maybe I shouldn't read so many books in such a short period of time (The Trial lasted from Friday to Saturday, then Alessandro Baricco's Silk occupied me until today's afternoon, and I immediately proceeded to begin and finish Hemingway's novella in a couple of hours): does it stop me from truly grasping the significance of either book, I wonder? Does it stop the many subtle meanings, if any, from sinking in and changing anything about my life views or literary perception? I wouldn't completely exclude this possibility, but I find it unlikely, since I did take some time to think The Trial over and form an opinion on it, as well as a personal interpretation, while Silk did all that it could: that is, complement the impression the movie version had already left me with (and to which I had already dedicated a fair share of thinking). On the other hand, The Old Man and the Sea seemed unusually blank.

Perhaps, as said above, I'm trying too hard to find hidden meanings in everything, but if, in this case, there truly aren't any, then that leaves me with an even worse opinion of the book, because, in that case, it's not only empty, but also boring and pointless, since it's not even significantly enjoyable, in my opinion. Let's get something straight: I'm not obsessed with cerebral literature, nor do I automatically reject all other genres. To prove that, it should be enough to state that my favorite novel of all time is Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights, not because it makes me think, but because it makes me feel, and to an extraordinary extent at that. In fact, not only is it a literary masterpiece -- and this much, at least, is not up to discussion --, as a life study it is unique and raw and immensely human in its inhumanity, and its power and intensity are yet to be rivalled, in my not so humble personal opinion. Obsession with Wuthering Heights aside, my favorite author is Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being being, also in my view, his best work, making it a very close second to the aforementioned classic on my top list. Kundera is unarguably cerebral to an extent; his works are practically books of quotations. So, why do I like him? Because he makes you think in the best way possible; he takes you on a true ride, provides multiple answers to his own questions; in short, he forces you to reflect on the subject, whether you want it or not. He guides you with exceptional intelligence, as well as an extremely seducing broad view of all things, from life routines to sexuality. This sort of works should not be confused with pseudo-intellectual, ambiguous writing that, in the end, amounts to nothing: sadly, there's plenty of this around, and many people mistake it for depth or cleverness. I will only enjoy a book of this genre if it makes me reflect on life and actual feelings, and/or if it teaches me something new, or leads me to discover something about myself that I wasn't yet aware of. Of course, this is what Kundera is genius at.

So, basically, I like things that make me feel strongly, as well as things that make me reflect and think deeper. The Old Man and the Sea is neither. Its descriptions are beautiful, sure, but they are also repetitive, and to no avail. One could argue that Santiago represents Christ and his suffering, and that the marlin stands for all that men are blindly and stubbornly searching for, whether it be a good or bad thing, but, well... so what? How does all this connect together, and what exactly does it mean? If I wake up one day, write a few paragraphs inspired by the landscape in front of my apartment block and claim that it is a metaphor for the ground Christ walked, does that actually mean anything, good as the metaphor might be (which is not the case in the example given, but you'll have to excuse me: my imagination is a bit dry from tiredness)? You can't just throw a couple of references together and make a masterpiece out of it. I'm not at all familiar enough with Hemingway's earlier works, apart from a few heated descriptions and rantings on For Whom the Bell Tolls I had to tolerate from my father a couple of years ago, but I believe he is supposed to be a good follower of realism and minimalism -- and that's okay; in fact, my favorite Portuguese author, whom I adore (Eça de Queirós), falls under that same genre --; however, in these cases, the lack of superstition, metaphysics or anything beyond real possibility is usually countered and compensated by passionate writing and intriguing story(ies), both of which this novella lacks. No, I am not one to underestimate or fail to notice subtlety, but I do not think The Old Man and the Sea possesses anything significant of this kind, either.

This book did not awaken any emotions in me, apart from a weak sense of pity near the end, when I believed the old man was about to die: which didn't happen, anyway. Excluding a couple of reflexions from his character when on his skiff, this novella is pretty much empty, although it admittedly attempts to seem otherwise.

I don't think I like Hemingway.

I miss blogging. In fact, I think what I miss is doing anything, anything at all; I've been so idle for the past weeks, and yet God only knows how hard it was to make myself grab the laptop and finally take a shot at an entry... I've no energy or motivation left, it seems, not even for the things I love the most. And this is partially what's been making me believe myself to be losing several abilities and skills, like that of writing well...

But that doesn't matter. I will now allow myself to ramble incoherently, just a little bit. I like Christmas. Christmas doesn't like me. I only like Christmas until around a month before it happens. Then the expectation goes away, it seems. There's no Christmas in this civilization anymore. That's a very sad thing. Either way, yeah, Christmas hates me. So does New Year's Eve. Life hates me. Wait, does it? My memory's a pile of shit these days. My whole brain is, actually. I hate this time of year. During the rest of the year, I actually think I love it. I long for it. Then it comes and shit happens and I hate it. People always get depressed at this time of year. I know I do.

I'm seeing a psychiatrist now, and on medication. He's an incredible doctor, and had a very fulfilling, uplifting conversation with me just yesterday (that was my first appointment). I just hope I won't lose it in the meantime, because I'm very likely to just forget any hope I might have had, think it unfounded and bring myself down again.

I got lots of stuff for Christmas, but I don't feel like listing it all. I feel I should, though. I used to like making lists. I think I still do. I just don't feel like it now. I never feel like doing things when it comes to doing them. Even if I've been longing for them.

Is happiness possible when you're an obsessed thinker?

Shame on Squaresoft/Square-Enix and their shallow players.

I'm replaying Final Fantasy VII for the millionth time, and, once again, I'm completely mesmerized with how amazing it is. It had been a good four years since the last time I'd played and beaten the game, and I must confess there's a lot of it I still hadn't taken in before this current try. Not because I hadn't done everything there is to do, but due to my lack of maturity and general understanding; after all, it is a surprisingly complex plot where every single character has multiple dimensions to be studied: all in all, heaven on earth if you're a sucker for analysis like myself.

With this new attempt at the game, everything seems to make so much more sense, and I'm seriously astonished at how great the game is -- it's like discovering it all for the very first time. For instance, I'd never tried to understand Yuffie and Cait Sith in the least before, but I now see the complexity that can be found in them -- yes, even in them -- as well. Yuffie isn't just an annoying brat, and Cait, too, is a lot more than the one-dimensional Shin-Ra spy I used to see him as. Mind you, despite all this, Yuffie and Cait Sith still aren't characters that I like -- the two things aren't connected. However, it's nice to realize they're worthy some of my attention, too.

The Jenova Project, Hojo's Reunion theory and Sephiroth/Cloud's story overall are much more clear now, too, making the game even more pleasurable than before. In fact, I feel the sudden need to rewrite every single article at my Tifa shrine, or just close it down, since I don't think it's that good anymore -- I just feel there's a lot of depth to her that I haven't explored properly, and I can't have that happen. If I ever get the time, I might revamp it, and/or shrine a different character -- well, truth be told, I may also end up just writing tons of FFVII-oriented essays, which sounds like fun enough to me as well.

Now, maybe you're wondering where the aforementioned disappointment in Squaresoft and their players comes in: after all, it was Squaresoft who created this masterpiece, as well as so many others, and I'm a faithful player myself. Well, the reason is quite simple, and can be summed up in only a few words: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII.

Why? Why did you have to go and turn the greatest game ever created into a twisted sort of whore? Why does money rule the world, really -- why have you become a new sort of Shin-Ra? And why don't most players realize that the reason behind this so-called "compilation" is profit, and profit alone?

Advent Children, Last Order, Crisis Core, Dirge of Cerberus, Before Crisis, Maiden Who Travels The Planet, On The Way To A Smile and whatever the fuck Square-Enix comes up with next are nothing but multiple out-of-character attempts at making money, using the fact that Final Fantasy VII is, and probably always will be (because, seriously, who falls in love with a game anymore, like I did, and so many with me? Where is all the dedication gone? Those times have long since ended...sadly, we're once again back at entertainment for the sake of entertainment. It almost feels as though true, emotion-ridden RPG's never existed and changed the world in the first place), the most fiercely loved RPG of all time. These spin-offs come in all formats with shimmering, brand new pieces of story that are sure to..., well, ruin your experience of the original game and kill off all of your theories about it, by making a bunch of pathetic, rushed and out-of-character new lines and poor excuses for a plot the "canon" truth of the game. As an old, faithful player, you'll want to watch/play/read all of these (and that's where the profit comes in), but the only thing you'll gain from them is disappointment and anger -- if you're like me, you'll just end up waking up in the morning every day and having to pretend they never happened. As a new player, you'll think these new things are way cool (I mean, OMFG GREAT GRAPHICS OMG LOLZZZ SO MUCH BETTER THAN THOSE STUPID POLYGONS!!!!111ONEONEONE -- and that's where the profit also comes in), and you'll watch/play/read them before the original (in fact, you may never get to the original -- these spin-offs will probably keep you busy for the rest of your lifetime, and who wants to play some stupid, old PSX game, anyway?), and the whole amazing, mesmerizing, praised Final Fantasy VII experience will be ruined for you from the very start.

I wish you'd gone and ruined something else, Square-Enix. Just not Final Fantasy VII. You're only bringing shame upon yourselves. Well, actually, you're not -- a way too high percentage of your players will never be intelligent enough to realize they're being played around like pathetic fools. They will still keep buying all of your shit, playing and watching anything that comes along just as long as it has the Final Fantasy VII logo on it, and updating their websites -- adding all the new "information", deleting all the old, outdated essays and theories. Because, seriously, why think and analyze when you can just learn the flashy new truth from the heaven sent Compilation? Why love and hate and cry and laugh and imagine and write when you can just play a dozen new games and watch a couple of movies like a robot?

The so-called "truth" of the Compilation will never be my Final Fantasy VII's truth. In fact, as far as I'm concerned, the Compilation does not exist. Allowing it to would be placing a death sentence upon my favorite fictional story of all time, and, well, I can't have that happen either. Sorry, folks. You can go get yourselves some new masturbation material with all the money you made now. Or, well, just come up with a Compilation of Chrono Cross or something, I guess. I mean, why not ruin that too? It's amazing enough to deserve it.

I feel sorry for all the new players -- you know, the ones that will never be stupid enough to go back and play some outdated, old school installments. Surely, they'll experience amazing cinematographic sequences, and battle systems, and flashy character outfits, and all the tears/smiles/emotions-free things games like Final Fantasy X-2, Final Fantasy XII and Final Fantasy VII spin-offs can give them.

Too bad they'll never know what an RPG is.

So, here's my timetable for first semester.

(P) stands for practical class (as in lab classes);
(TP) stands for theoretical-practical class (as in solving exercises);
All other classes are merely theoretical (as in traditional university lecture halls).

My friends and I went to college near 10AM today, in order to sign up for practical classes. We all (all 12 or 13 of us, that is) managed to get sorted into the same class (*), which is pretty good, but we didn't get the timetable we wanted. Not that this one is bad -- in fact, being able to sleep in every single morning (I probably won't be going to most theoretical classes anyway, so I can start only at 2PM every day if I want to) and having Friday off is a lot of people's dream --, but we liked the timetable for Class 4 better (it was all filled up by the time it got to our turn though, so we had to stick with Class 2). Oh well, it's alright.

(*) From second year on, students get to pick which class they want to be in. Naturally, they assume that after freshman year you ought to have made some friends you'd rather stick with in class, so they let you choose. Classes (each being made up of around 20 students) only apply for practical and theorical-practical classes, too (meaning that for theorical classes they use huge lecture halls for everyone), because you can't exactly put a few hundreds of students inside the same lab.

I just made the loveliest eBay purchase. <3 It's an official, "Play Arts" Sephiroth (Final Fantasy VII) action figure, Advent Children version. 23cm (approximately 9'') tall, tons of points of articulation, and comes with a sword (his lovely Masamune, of course), four spare hands and a display base. I'm not sure why I chose to buy a Sephiroth figure instead of a Cloud one or something like that, but then again I also own a FFX-2 Yuna one by Kotobukiya that I got no explanation for, except for the fact that it's gorgeous and looks amazing on a shelf. In addition to that, I truly admire Sephiroth as a villain: and, really, who doesn't? He's got to be the best antagonist ever -- he's like the mother of all bad guys --, and you can't help respecting him. He's got the most fascinating story, the most appealing personality, the most depth -- hell, the best sword ever. If there's a true definition for "cool", Sephiroth is it. Besides, he's gorgeous and bishonen-ish, has an amazing outfit, and he has that damn powerful air about him that makes you... well, want him on your shelf as well, I suppose. <3 This figure isn't as tall as my Yuna statue, which is over 30cm, but, then again, it's an action figure. It obviously can't be as tall, and it's made of PVC (not vinyl, like Yuna), but has the advantage of being articulable and stuff. =DDD Besides, it's so goddamn realistic. Here are some pictures for you to drool over:



I just can't wait for it to arrive. =DDD Though it'll probably take long, since it's coming from Asia. Oh well.

Ohh, in case you're curious, here's the Yuna statue I talked about earlier. Now that I think of it, I think it was my first eBay purchase ever. I've owned it for almost three years now:

Hmm. I really wanna own an Auron (Final Fantasy X), an Axel (Kingdom Hearts), a Paine (Final Fantasy X-2) and a Rinoa (Final Fantasy VIII) as well. I also saw a good looking Squall (Final Fantasy VIII) that would go well with Rinoa assuming I do get her, and, for obvious reasons, I'd gladly have an Aerith and a Tifa (Final Fantasy VII) as well -- even though, for some reason, I don't have an actual urge (well, not as huge as the ones listed previously, anyway) to buy figures/statues of the two of them, other than the fact that I love them as characters. Strangely enough, the fact that you love a character the most doesn't mean it's the one you'd like to own in statue format the most. I mean, take Sephiroth or Auron, for instance: they just look good (though they're also amazing characters and personal favorites, so don't get me wrong). Like, powerful. There's something about them that makes them perfect little things to be standing on a shelf in your room. Tifa and Aerith, not so much. =/ I don't think it's just because they're female either, because Paine and Rinoa are good too. Weird. I should also buy a matching "Play Arts" Cloud to go with Sephiroth. =D That'd be amazing, yay. Besides, he comes with his Buster Sword. Masamune = love. Buster Sword = love. Masamune + Buster Sword = ORGASM OMG. Cloud is so amazing, too.

I also saw a set of Kingdom Hearts figures that looked absolutely terrific; it had Kairi, Goofy, Cloud, Jafar and "final battle Ansem", each standing on a related base (Kairi had a Destiny Islands base, for instance). Pretty amazing, but Sephiroth will have to do for now. <3

Gotta go pack up, bus to Oporto in less than an hour. See you!

[HOLLOW BASTION; First Visit]
----------------------------------------------------
[Six cloaked figures appear and the central one raises his arms.]
Goofy: Organization XIII!
Sora: Good! Now we can settle this!
Organization XIII Member: What a shame... And here I thought we could be friends.
[They disappear in a laugh.]
Donald: Stop!
[Donald runs to a set of stairs and a single cloaked man appears before them.]
Donald: What's the big idea!?
Organization XIII Member: Oopsy-daisy!  <-- WTF? Now it's me asking, what IS the big idea? Big baddass cool-looking cloaked villain, going "oopsy-daisy"?... Whatever.
Sora: Move!
Organization XIII Member: Now, do you think that's polite, shutting me down like that?
Sora: I said get outta the way!
Organization XIII Member: As if! You can talk all you want, but that won't change a thing.
Donald: Then we're gonna MAKE you move!
Organization XIII Member: See, that would work---if I were just any old dude. 'Cept I'm not. I'm with the Organization. Nothing "any old" about me. <-- Well, you *did* just go "oopsy-daisy" on us.
Sora: Ha! Tough talk for someone who stood on the sidelines while his Nobody flunkeys did the fighting!
Organization XIII Member: Oh, dear. I think you got the wrong impression.
[The hooded man wags a finger at Sora.]
Sora: You gonna cry?
Organization XIII Member: As if! Why don't I remind you how tough the crowd you're dealing with really is?
Sora: "Remind" me?
[Sora snaps out of it. The man laughs.]
Organization XIII Member: That's RIGHT, he used to give me that same exact look.
Sora: ...I guess you think you can psych me out by saying really random stuff! <-- BEST FUCKING GAME QUOTE EVER. LMFAO.
Organization XIII Member: Gee... I just don't know.
[The man spreads his arms open as if challenging them to strike him. He soon gives up.]
Organization XIII Member: Be a good boy now!
Donald: Wait!
[He disappears as Donald tries to jump on him.]
Donald: Nuts! He got away!
Sora: That was weird. WHO gave him the same look?
Goofy: Y'know... I think he was just tryin' to confuse ya.
----------------------------------------------------

Yeah, that must have been it, Goofy. I guess Organization XIII just ran out of ideas and suddenly decided that "saying really random stuff" would be a good plan in order to confuse -- sorry, "psych" -- Sora. Because they would just get so much out of that, you know. Or, maybe the guy's actually just talking about Roxas, Sora's Nobody who used to work for them, but now lives inside Sora (which he's admittedly clueless about). Maybe. Mhmm, then again, no. I'm pretty sure they were just saying really random stuff to confuse you, Sora. Yeah. <3

God, gotta love Kingdom Hearts. >]]

I love you so much. I'm not sure about anything anymore; I don't know what I want, but I feel in such peace with the world when I'm with you. I know it's impossible, I realize it's forbidden and crazy, but... I can't help it. Please don't leave me; don't desert me, not like this. Don't ask me to kill such a beautiful part of me...

Anyway...

Indeed, Wendy, Beatrix was a wonderful character. No, she certainly didn't get enough screen time: I'm a huge FFIX/9 hater, so this is particularly frustrating to me, because I feel she might as well have been the only good thing about the whole game. FF9 is, in my opinion, a shame to the whole Final Fantasy series and even Squaresoft/SquareEnix themselves; it completely reduces the series' greatness to zero, or somewhere very close to that. Maybe if I hadn't played 6, 7 and 8 before 9 I wouldn't hate it so much: I'll have to admit no game in the Final Fantasy series can be considered downright bad, but, when in comparison with other titles, 9 just... isn't as good. Well, it sucks. Maybe it's good -- perhaps even pretty good -- as an isolated game, but, for obvious reasons, I can't help comparing. =x

Either way, here's some pretty doujinshi of Beatrix I thought I'd share. <3

In fact, she might as well be one of the most beautiful Final Fantasy females overall, along with Lulu and Celes. <3

By the way, here's some more beautiful CloAer (Cloud x Aerith) doujinshi (which I'm a sucker for). The first is by Nodoka Kiyose as well (see last entry if you don't know who I'm talking about), the others are from various different artists.

Cute, aren't they? I'm such a sucker for these two. =x Can't wait for February 23rd, when Final Fantasy XII (12) FINALLY comes out in Europe. God, I need to play that game. >_<

And to kill my mother. I need to kill my mom as well.

But it's not like I'd let her ruin my entry. Nevermind her. <3 So, anyway, this is for you, my love... in hope that people who read this will have at least some clue who I'm talking about (same person from beginning of the entry, indeed):

"É que hoje eu já sabia dizer
'Ama-me, leva-me p´ra lá do meu horizonte
Falando de amor
Fala-me de amor

Segue-me, prende-me p'ra lá do meu horizonte
Falando de amor
Fala-me de amor'

Quero-te dizer que ainda estou aqui
Todo o tempo à espera de ti
Quero-te alcançar, e estou a pedir
Para ser como era quando te conheci

É que hoje eu já sabia dizer
'Ama-me, leva-me p'ra lá do meu horizonte
Fala-me de amor'
Fala-me de amor..."

[TRANSLATION]
"It's just that today I'd finally know how to say
'Love me, take me beyond my horizon
Speaking to me of love
Speak to me of love

Follow me, hold me tight beyond my horizon
Speaking to me of love
Speak to me of love'

I want to let you know that I'm still here
Always and forever waiting for you
I want to reach you, and I'm asking
For things to be the way they were when I first met you

It's just that today I'd finally know how to say
'Love me, take me beyond my horizon
Speak to me of love'
Speak to me of love..."

Please do speak to me of love... =(

Like I promised in my last post, this entry will consist of a small tribute to Final Fantasy VII, the greatest RPG of all time, and, more specifically, Aerith Gainsborough. First off, I'd like to point out that on January 31st, 2007, Final Fantasy VII officially commemorated its tenth birthday: this should therefore be an important date for any experienced gamer, and one that we should all be thankful for.

I wish I could keep up with the formal talking for the rest of the entry, but the truth is that proves impossible to me. I have way too many emotions attached to this game to be able to stay unbiased and keep a distance when talking about it. I purchased Final Fantasy VII in 1999 and eventually beat it around three years later, in 2002, when I was thirteen. It was my first RPG ever; however, my first attempt at it was pretty much a fiasco: most likely because my English back then sucked. My second attempt a couple of years later, though, which resulted in me beating the game for the very first time, went a lot better.

This second attempt occured after I'd already played/beaten other RPG's, the most remarkable of which, in my opinion, being Tales of Phantasia: a pure masterpiece for the SNES (and, more recently, for the GBA as well) that sadly passes most people by. When I played ToP, I fell in love with Mint Adnade, the Healer and heroine of the game. She was such a pure, wonderful character, and emanated beauty from every pore. Maybe, in a way, this could have been a sign already: as I came to find, Aerith fell under the same stereotyped category of characters as Mint did.

However, this is not at all enough reason to explain the feelings of pure love and admiration I came to develop towards Aerith as I drowned more and more into the depths of Final Fantasy VII. Aerith was the first game character that actually made me feel. She made me fall in love with her, and awoke something in me which from then on allowed me to feel much more emotion when playing RPG's, turning it into an incredibly more fulfilling experience. If it hadn't been for Final Fantasy VII, I never would have learned how to fall in love with a game, and, equally, if it hadn't been for Aerith, I never would have known what it is to cry because of one.

Aerith's death scene is one of the most famous game moments of all time: most likely because very few managed not to cry over it, which, for most, was a completely new experience. At the same time, it was also (one of) the first attempt(s) ever made at killing (and not reviving) an RPG's heroine, which, once again, is one of the reasons that make Final Fantasy VII so grand, amazingly realistic and superior. There was such a strong feeling of injustice attached to Aerith's premature death at Sephiroth's hands that this single moment would have been enough to turn both characters into game legends. However, Final Fantasy VII and its characters were much more than just that pivotal moment: and only by playing it can you truly understand what turns it into such a loved masterpiece.

Its greatness and success explains why Final Fantasy VII recently gave origin to a bunch of spin-offs, altogether forming the ever so famous Compilation of Final Fantasy VII. Do I agree with this kind of commercial blackmail?... Well, obviously not. A Compilation of Final Fantasy VII consisting of a bunch of movies, sequel- and prequel-games for various systems, animations and even novels wasn't needed; in fact, all it can do is ruin the game's greatness, and hardly adds any interest to it. Final Fantasy VII would have done better on its own, leaving space for as much speculation as fans would want to write essays about, and, at best, lending its characters for guest appearances and cameos in other game series, which happens, for instance, in Kingdom Hearts and Itadaki Street Special. Clearly, the creators are beginning to abuse the game's commercial success and take advantage of it: thankfully, however, the Compilation seems to be coming to an end.

Do not get me wrong: I'm not mad about Advent Children, or Before Crisis, or Crisis Core, or Dirge of Cerberus, or any other of Final Fantasy VII's never-ending spin-offs. I'm glad for the new graphics, I love seeing my favorite characters in better renders of themselves and wearing new uniforms, and I will not deny that some of these titles are fun and worth the money: however, I honestly don't feel they add much to the game itself. All they do is give us more information on the past and future of the original characters: and there's nothing wrong with that; however, I wish they would have left more space for fan speculation, because that's really what fandom is all about, and it's the fact that we get to see and create beyond canon information that feeds our love and devotion towards a game and makes it undying. With all these new titles, this is obviously limited: and there's nothing great about that, now is there?

Either way, Aerith is (arguably, I suppose) the most famous (and one of the most loved, but also hated) female game characters of all time. She appears in the original Final Fantasy VII, and then in FFVII: Crisis Core, FFVII: Before Crisis, FFVII: Advent Children, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts II, Itadaki Street Special, Itadaki Street Portable, and is the protagonist of the novel Maiden Who Travels The Planet. She also has cameo appearances in Final Fantasy Tactics and a couple of other games. She's usually associated with Cloud Strife, the protagonist of the original game and her main love interest. We can safely say about Cloud that he's the most loved Final Fantasy hero, and maybe the most popular game character ever overall, along with his antagonist, the legendary Sephiroth. Cloud is considered by many to have been/be romantically interested in Aerith as well, and these people are called CloAer/Clerith shippers. I'm one.

I will now try to cover Aerith's appearance and how it changed over time, from designer to designer and from title to title.

ORIGINAL GAME: Yoshitaka Amano artwork


Description: Cloud holding Aerith in both pictures, top and bottom.

Well, what can I say? Yoshitaka Amano's art is well known for generally being an acquired taste. I'll have to admit that, at first, I loathed his artworks in general; however, as happens with many gamers, his works began to grow on me. I suppose there's a classical, messy look about them that makes them hard getting used to... I do love the fact that he seems to be a CloAer supporter, though: most of his art for the game portrays Cloud and Aerith together; in fact, in his only portrait of her, Tifa stands alone.



ORIGINAL GAME: Tetsuya Nomura artwork


Description: Body (left) and face (right) portraits of Aerith as seen in the original Final Fantasy VII game.

Nomura's art is much easier getting used to, which leads most fans to generally prefer it at first. Both Nomura and Amano worked on artwork for the game; however, the dramatic feeling about Amano's made Nomura's the prefered one when it came to rendering the characters for the actual game, which is why in-game/FMV Aerith looks exactly as he made her. The face portrait to the right was used on the menu screen for the game, and I've been in love with it for the longest time. <3 Puuurty.



KINGDOM HEARTS: I (left), CoM (middle) and II (right)


Description: Aerith as seen in Kingdom Hearts [PS2] (left), Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories [GBA] (middle) and Kingdom Hearts II [PS2] (right).

The Kingdom Hearts series brought ecstasy to many Final Fantasy VII fans, for it came with the promise of featuring FF characters in guest appearances. In KH, FF characters are, in general, out of the context of their original games and melted in KH's own storyline (even though they maintain their original personality traits), which explains why/how Aerith can be alive in it. Naturally, Aerith fans were overly excited about her new outfit, which most people agree to be better looking than her original one. Kingdom Hearts II had new clothes for Aerith, however (which, I think, are so much uglier than anything we'd ever seen her in =/); the boots seem to be the only thing that's always kept pretty much the same. Umm. Don't ask me whether that's a good thing. *Shivers.*



FINAL FANTASY TACTICS: Guest appearance as "Flower Girl"


Description: Cloud talking to a minor character named "Flower Girl".

To tell the truth, Aerith isn't officially in this game: indeed, it is Cloud who's an actual guest character, and he happens to come across a certain "Flower Girl" at one point in the game. This person looks pretty much exactly like Aerith, and clearly reminds him of her. Seeing as how Cloud is out of FF7's context in this game (it's a totally different reality), most gamers generally agree that this is simply a "joke" the producers decided to play on the FF7 community, quite obviously having based this mysterious character on Aerith. It is her, but at the same time isn't.



FINAL FANTASY VII: ADVENT CHILDREN


Description: Aerith in a green field in the ending of the movie (top), Aerith standing back-to-back with Cloud in a flower field in one of his many "mind talks" with her (bottom).

Advent Children events occur two years after the ending of the original Final Fantasy VII game, and feature a confused, "emo" Cloud who's not quite over Aerith's death, and the guilt attached to it, yet. At this point, Aerith has obviously returned to the Lifestream, but, along with Zack, remains an ethereal presence in Cloud's life, mostly as a sort of "guardian angel", helping him move on with his life. Fans in general, including myself, were highly excited about this movie, because, for the first time, it featured high quality, realistic renders of the characters. It is generally agreed that all characters look much better in this movie than it any other FF7/KH/whatever title. Aerith, for one, is absolutely gorgeous in it, which can be seen above. She keeps her original outfit from Final Fantasy VII.



FINAL FANTASY VII: BEFORE CRISIS


Description: Aerith's profile picture and only character artwork from Before Crisis.

Before Crisis was a cellphone game developed by Square Enix which featured the Turks as the main characters in events prior (as the name itself has it) to Final Fantasy VII's storyline. Aerith has minor appearances in episodes 12 and 24 only, being mostly portrayed as the-last-Cetra-descendant-who's-chased-around-by-the-Turks-in-hopes-that-she-will-lead-them-to-the-Promised-Land. Well, in a nutshell, the game shows a bit of Aerith's past from her "stalkers"' point of view. Funnily enough, she seems to be wearing her ugly outfit from Kingdom Hearts II... which really isn't half as ugly when you only get to see the top part of it. Combinations have always been the problem with Aerith's clothing, anyway. <3 Ah well.



ITADAKI STREET SPECIAL & ITADAKI STREET PORTABLE


Description: Aerith as seen in both installments of the game: chibi-like.

Along with Cloud, Tifa and Sephiroth, Aerith is a playable character in the Special and Portable installments [PS2] in the Itadaki Street series. Like the other FF characters, she's portrayed chibi-like. She wears her original outfit, carries a bag of flowers quite reminiscent of her job as a flower girl in Final Fantasy VII and looks really cute, if you ask me. <3



FINAL FANTASY VII: CRISIS CORE


Description: Aerith in the Midgar church, facing Zack (top), and alone (middle and bottom).

Crisis Core is an upcoming PSP game featuring Zack as the main character in events leading up to the Nibelheim incident, which occured five years prior to Final Fantasy VII events. Seeing as how Zack was Aerith's first (and only) boyfriend, I suppose we'll be seeing quite a bit of her (and them) in this, and actually look forward to meeting a much younger Aerith. In the trailer, she's wearing a pretty, fresh light blue & white dress: for the first time, and thankfully, there doesn't seem to be any bad combination problems with her outfit. I find it curious to see them get away from the usual pink/red they keep in stock for her in every single installment, too. Contrary to so much of the shit they're coming up with these days, this should be interesting. <33



DOUJINSHI: Nodoka Kiyose artwork 


Description: Aerith (top); Aerith & Cloud (bottom).

Doujinshi are self-published Japanese artworks, usually coming in the format of manga, novels or isolated illustrations. Rather than single artists, doujinshi usually comes from groups of people (who can be either amateur or professional artists) who refer to themselves as a "circle". Games and anime, for instance, are very commonly depicted by doujinshi artists. Nodoka Kiyose belongs to a quite famous mostly-game-based doujinshi circle, Frontier. Her works are mostly about Aerith and, more specifically, Cloud & Aerith as a romantic couple, which turns her into a personal favorite. Her artwork is absolutely gorgeous, and I've never been able to find anything that comes close to it in terms of beauty. I do have a scary amount of extremely varied Aerith and CloAer doujinshi on my computer, but nothing that compares to Nodoka Kiyose's quality: so, I figured I'd show some of it. I'm a huge fan of doujinshi and usually end up loving it much more than original artworks, so I couldn't help posting some as well. <33 Gomen. =]] By the way, if anyone has any idea how I can purchase some of her most well-known Cloud & Aerith works (like the Future series, or Tomorrow), please let me know. eBay's not coming up with many options at the moment, sadly. =/

...Oookay, now that turned out to be much longer than I expected it to. I also have to admit that I ended up not saying anything even remotely significant. <3 Yay. That is very typical of me, sadly. Oh well..., I tried? I just wanted to introduce you people to Aerith, and, in a couple of ways, pay some tribute to her mere existence. So, here it is. Maybe I should have worked on some kind of essay instead, I don't know. *Shrugs.* I do have so much more doujinshi I'd like to show, though; maybe I should open a doujinshi gallery or something like that. It's not just Aerith or CloAer, I also have gorgeous artworks of Celes Chere and Terra Branford (FF6), Rinoa Heartilly (FF8), Beatrix (FF9), etc., that I'd be really happy to share. Mhmm, maybe I should give that some thought. <3

I may edit/post another entry on this subject later.

I don't really have the opportunity to elaborate on this post, seeing as how I'm over at my friend's Ana's house for the night, but I will make an edit (or post a more complete entry) as soon as possible (I don't have an internet connection on my laptop at the moment either, so, at best, this will be done over the weekend when I go home to Chaves for a few days). I just didn't want to let Aerith's birthday pass me by this year, especially since I've always been confused as to when it really was, and for years thought it was actually either February 3rd or February 23rd. Well, turns out it is February 7th after all, and this time I'm sure I'm not mistaken. <3

Aerith Gainsborough is one of the two heroines in Final Fantasy VII, a 1997 RPG by Squaresoft considered by many, including myself, to be the greatest game of all time. She was (one of) the first protagonist(s) ever known to die in a game, and, according to a very accurate magazine article I came across a couple of days ago (in which FF7 was considered one of the 10 Most Important Games of all time), without her "gamers wouldn't have learned how to cry". She was 22 in 1997, when the game first came out, which would make her 33 now. As you may or may not have noticed, Aerith is probably the female game character to ever influence and inspire me the most. Because of this, I will make sure to have a proper tribute of some kind to her and the game she's from in my next post. For now, I just didn't want to let midnight hit the clock without having said anything about this very special individual. So, once again, Happy Birthday, Aerith. <3 You'll always live in our hearts.

I'd forgotten how beautiful a couple Haruka and Michiru are. Yeah, for those of you confused, I'm refering to Tenoh Haruka/Sailor Uranus and Kaioh Michiru/Sailor Neptune from the 90's anime & manga series, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, by Takeuchi Naoko. BSSM was my biggest anime obsession of all time back when I was around 11 or so, and came back for short periods of time several times after that. I guess it did come to an end a couple of years ago though -- I must have lost my interest when I was, like, 14 --, and I haven't been in touch with it for the longest time, but now that I've been watching some episodes again... well, I'm both positively surprised and shocked at the same time.

To begin with, I definitely didn't recall the series being so immature and shallow. In fact, I think I used to look deeper into it when I was 12 than I am capable of now. I don't remember the manga well (maybe I should give it a second shot one of these days), but I do remember not liking it quite as much as the anime in a couple of ways; however, I am convinced that it's got to be at least more mature than its screen counterpart. Either way, repetitive and skin-deep or not as the anime may be, Haruka is still the character, and her relationship with Michiru has got to be the most beautiful I've ever seen anime-wise. I'm dangerously inclined towards Meiko & Satoshi from Marmalade Boy as well, but then again they're not canon, and MB and BSSM can't really be compared as far as backgrounds for relationships go.

Lesbians. Homosexual relationships: they've always had a stronger impact on me, maybe because I admire them so much, and find them so dangerously attractive. But my love for Haruka & Michiru goes much further than that: what they have is just so strong that it goes beyond any kind of barriers that might have been established within or outside of anime. As I went through a couple of episodes these past few days, I found myself thinking how high a contrast there is between them -- both as a couple and individual characters -- and the rest of the cast/plot of BSSM: their maturity and complexity, their actual depth. Their tragic beauty, too: it's like they don't belong in Usagi's world, but instead deserve one of their own to do them justice. They always manage to bring out the best in me as far as pure emotions go. <3 How close can you get with the person you love? These two girls function so perfectly together that it makes me wonder...

Then there's their aesthetical beauty: they're both so gorgeous, and sometimes I find myself truly wanting to fuck Haruka, which is saying a lot, seeing as how I'm a straight girl: then again, she's awfully androgynous. This once again proves my theory of angrogyny being the purest, most attractive kind of beauty. I'm in love with all these doujinshi pictures of them. <3 So beautiful... makes me want to do something stupid, like building them a shrine or something. Not that I have the time for that, but it's something I'd like to do, and have wanted to do for a long time. Like I said, I'd never realized how slightly immature BSSM can be, but I also can't help realizing Haruka & Michiru are a world apart from the rest of the series. They've got enough complexity and controversy and depth to fill more essay space than all of the other characters together... and they're actually worth it.

I guess what I mean is, while BSSM may have grown old as I did, Haruka and Michiru didn't, and probably never will. Maybe because, contrary to the rest of the series, they're timeless and ageless. I don't know, there's just something about them... something ever so powerful underneath the shallow BSSM label.

Mhmm, biggest pointless rant of the century. <3